What if they revoke the phrase "planets and dwarf planets are two distinct classes of objects" such that all dwarf planets are also planets?

Imo the wikipedia page on the issue is really good and I recommend it to those interested: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clearing_the_neighbourhood

They will just change the definition such that Jupiter is a planet and Pluto isn't.

Also, I don't think Lagrange point objects are intended to count, if that's what you mean. More likely, the definition will get cleaned up to explicitly exclude them.

It can only get reclassified along with Eris (which hadn't been known pre-2003) - and probably Ceres, Haumea and Makemake, too. We will never have 9 planets again (although, of course, all the five reclassifying would still be a YES).

scientists are dumb and they hate pluto