I'm not sure what my favorite animal is. Let's decide it by a market! This March Mammal Madness inspired game will play out in phases. Aside from the Setup phase, expect each phase to last about a day or two, but I reserve the right to speed up the clock as I deem fit.
Setup phase:
Traders add animals to the market. After the setup phase is complete, traders will no longer be able to add animals to the market. Expect this phase to end some point after this other market resolves. Traders can add as many eligible animals as they wish to the market. To be eligible, add a real, non-microscopic, non-Homo-genus animal by following the provided formatting:
[common name] - [scientific name]
Example: Goldfish - Carassius auratus
A subspecies can be specified, but new animals must have a unique genus + species compares to all other animals already listed.
Selection phase:
The animal with the highest probability (the “Frontrunner”) and the lowest probability (the “Underdog”) will be selected to do battle. I will declare when the approximate cutoff time for when this selection is.
Discussion phase:
Traders can convince me why an animal should win the match up. DO NOT paste an AI / LLM output in the comments. However, I might read an AI / LLM conversation if you paste a link to it.
Battle phase:
The selected animals will appear on “The Field of Battle” in my imagination, but the animals won't necessarily feel that they are supposed to fight each other. At the very least, one should notice the other one.
By default, “The Field of Battle” will be the native habitat of the “Underdog”, and the boundaries of "The Field of Battle" will vary at my discretion. If the probabilities were miraculously a tie, the default habitat would be decided by a coin toss. Other animals may also be present as part of the habitat.
An animal wins the battle if they are last to be incapacitated, or if they are last to be capable of moving (for approximately 10 seconds), or if the other contender flees “The Field of Battle”. I myself will be the sole judge of how this plays out.
If the result doesn't seem manifestly obvious to me, I will use these attributes to guide my decision: temperament, weaponry, armor, body mass, speed, fight style, physiology, and motivation, all relative to the battle's habitat.
I will not take kindly to bribes. Don't even try.
I expect many matches to end by asphyxiation or by an animal wandering off. They won't know where the boundaries are, and they won't know they are in a tournament. They just want to survive and thrive.
Clarification comment on handling lifecycle morphology and parasitism.
If an animal loses a battle, it will be marked as "defeated". If an animal wins a battle, that animal will continue on in the tournament, and that animal will have its memory wiped of the battle. We loop back to the Selection phase after a Battle phase if we're not at the last animal. The last animal on the market that isn't defeated and isn't ineligible resolves YES. All others, NO. "Other" will not resolve YES, but it may be a useful answer during the Setup phase. I cannot resolve market answers until the game is over.
I will award at least 100 mana to the person who adds the animal that wins this tournament. I guarantee no refund of your mana if you add an ineligible animal.
Medals:
🥉: Battles won as Underdog
🥈: Battles won as Frontrunner
🥇: Won a battle while 10 or fewer animals remain. (This is awarded instead of a bronze or silver medal.)
Dashboard to derivative markets
There will be no AI clarifications added to this market's description.
I will not trade on this market.
The close date is a placeholder and has no bearing on this market.
This will be a very subjective market. Expect that something will be scuffed, and I will have to fix things on the fly.
Pessoas também estão operando
Discussion phase #59!
@GazDownright with the Frontrunner
Sea Otter - Enhydra lutris
Vs.
@solarflare with the Underdog
Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria
2 aquatic creatures. Discuss!
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@wolf @Bayesian @GazDownright @digory @moobunny @TheAllMemeingEye @Gen @121 @100Anonymous @vi
🦦
@moobunny I have not been looking at the trade ledger much, but I do see that most animals still in the running are yours.
I can only read this new market as @JussiVilleHeiskanen throwing down the gauntlet against you here.
@Quroe Challenge accepted!
It’s not an accident that most of the remaining competitors are mine; I’ve been manipulating things with that intent the whole time. I suspect it will get harder in the final stretch as more possible pairings put my animals at risk and more attention on the market makes it harder to rig.
At long last

Discussion phase #58!
@NorthShoreAwesome with the Frontrunner
Giant Nematode - Placentonema gigantissima
Vs.
@GazDownright with the Underdog
Wolverine - Gulo gulo
Discuss!
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@wolf @Bayesian @GazDownright @digory @moobunny @TheAllMemeingEye @Gen @121 @100Anonymous @vi
@JussiVilleHeiskanen hey I never said the wolverine wasn't technically also in its preferred field of battle in this hypothetical XD
Battle phase #58!
@NorthShoreAwesome with the Frontrunner
Giant Nematode - Placentonema gigantissima
Vs.
@GazDownright with the Underdog
Wolverine - Gulo gulo
Habitat: Alpine forest (Autumn)
The nematode finds itself slumped in a pile on a grassy surface... It is unable to do anything of note and just stays sitting in place in the sun of the afternoon.
A wolverine happens upon it while foraging and sniffs it. It seems fleshy and edible. The wolverine wolfs it down like any other meal it might come across -- they aren't picky eaters.
The nematode is not able to survive the evisceration and subsequent stomach acid. The nematode is consumed; the wolverine wins!
---Places I went for research---
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@wolf @Bayesian @GazDownright @digory @moobunny @TheAllMemeingEye @Gen @121 @100Anonymous @vi
Discussion phase #57!
@vi with the Frontrunner
Leopard seal - Hydrurga leptonyx
Vs.
@solarflare with the Underdog
Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria
I was a little late getting this matchup up. Busy weekend. Discuss!
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@wolf @Bayesian @GazDownright @digory @moobunny @TheAllMemeingEye @Gen @121 @100Anonymous @vi
@Quroe This is an interesting one because I don’t think the leopard seal will tolerate sulphur well, but also it eats fish, so, …
Can you update the market to show who’s frontrunner and underdog?
Discussion phase #57!
@vi with the Frontrunner
Leopard seal - Hydrurga leptonyx
Vs.
@solarflare with the Underdog
Sulfur Cave Molly - Poecilia sulphuraria
Habitat: Cueva de las sardinas ciegas
The leopard seal finds itself in the shallow pools of a dark cave.
A sulfur cave molly swims along and notices a relatively large beast next to it. It's schooled with other mollies, and it shimmers the water's surface with the rest of its kin instinctively.
The water in the cave is cool, but it's sulfroud and inhospitable -- also it's shallow. The leopard seal sploshes to the water's edge to escape the hostile environment, but much like the tiger in the previous battle in this cave, the hydrogen sulfide gas quickly knocks it unconscious.
Another one bites the dust in this inhospitable environment. Cave molly wins.
---Places I went for research---
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@wolf @Bayesian @GazDownright @digory @moobunny @TheAllMemeingEye @Gen @121 @100Anonymous @vi
